I need help removing her.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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