did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
This is the prime rib incident all over again
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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