Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
