He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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