Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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