All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
