I'm lost and stupid without you.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Can I color on your dick again?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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