when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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