There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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