they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
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