; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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