butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize