How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize