hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
