We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I lost the right to judge tonight
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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