yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
