i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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