Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
