About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize