This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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