I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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