I'm pants shitting drunk right now
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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