Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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