haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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