More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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