am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i will never coherently bang her
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
