he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
