a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
