love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize