Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize