why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
