i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
