found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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