i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
