I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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