Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize