Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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