She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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