you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
