I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
