I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
