y did u give ur computer a hand job?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
