The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
