Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
