lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
and she was petting her beer can
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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