People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
