Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
