The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I AM VODKA MAN
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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