And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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