the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
