No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just had sex on a roof
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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