fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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