Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize