Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
