Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
