i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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