Grow some girl-balls and come out already
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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